Sex Therapists and the Problem of Sexual Desire Discrepancy in the Relationship
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Desire discrepancy.pdf (1.12 MB)
Date
2019-11
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Annual Meeting of The Society for the Scientific Study of Sexuality (SSSS), Denver, Colorado, November 7-10, 2019
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Abstract
Katarzyna Grunt-Mejer, Weronika Chańska SWPS University of Social Sciences and Humanities, Poznan Faculty, Poland Jagiellonian University, Collegium Medicum, Poland Sex therapists and the problem of sexual desire discrepancy in the relationship. Background: The presented results are a part of a broader study on the criteria of sexual norm in sexological practice. 48 in-depth interviews with certified sex therapists were carried out to elucidate diverse concepts of healthy sexuality and their impact on treatment goals in sex therapy. This part of the study raises the subject of desire: its conceptualization, normative assumptions about its proper level and therapeutic suggestions regarding desire incompatibilities in couples. Methods: Semi-structured interviews allowed for probing and exploring freely emerging themes within given areas of sex practice. The resulting data was used to identify the therapist’s criteria of sexual norm, references to the already existing theories and proposed methods of treatment. Results: When faced in their office with a problem of desire discrepancy in couples both physicians and psychologists tended to focus on the less desiring partners and direct the treatment to raise their level of desire. Therapeutic approach strongly influenced the inquiry into the underlying causes of the problem as well as therapeutic objectives (from tendency to treat the assumed personality disorders, to compromises, to direct ways of pushing the low-desire partner to engage in sex). Some therapists perceived decrease in desire in time as statistically normal, but nevertheless they advised to put an effort to reverse the process. Few therapists normalized different levels of desire and aimed at softening the pressure to have sex of a frequency wished by a more desiring partner. Conclusions: Lower/ed desire gained therapeutic attention and was seen as problematic regardless of objective frequency of sexual urges or of the gender of the less desiring partner. Rarely did the concept of biological drive occur - desire was conceptualized the most often as a resultant of relational dynamics and of individual psychological state. The results shed light on the cultural norms regarding desire in long-term relationship incorporated by sexologists into therapy.
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Citation
Grunt-Mejer, K., Chańska, W. (2019). "Sex Therapists and the Problem of Sexual Desire Discrepancy in the Relationship" Annual Meeting of The Society for the Scientific Study of Sexuality (SSSS), Denver, Colorado, November 7-10, 2019